I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
