I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize