Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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