i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
