I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
