why didn't you poke me back
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
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