Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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