my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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