I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
