We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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