don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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