I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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