I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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