Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I faked an abortion last night.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
