You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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