So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
