Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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