How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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