she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
