I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She's the barista slut.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
