I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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