i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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