Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
