Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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