hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
