that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize