i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
