He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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