I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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