Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
