It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize