Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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