Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
