when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
