Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize