They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
