were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
