I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
