those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
