Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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