When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
