its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
im calling her cock vulture from now on
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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