it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
