thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
