Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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