Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
