Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
