home. puking in laundry basket.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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