I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
