Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
another moral hangover. fuck.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
