I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
