Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
