I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She made me pour olive oil on her.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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