last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
