i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
