I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
