I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
