forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
