i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
