dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
3 2 1 whiskey
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
