Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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