Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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