I'm lost and stupid without you.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
