Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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